Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Jimmy: "The moon". Teacher: " Why?" Jimmy: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we dont need it".
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I dont know which side to write the other 5!
Teacher: "Henry, you talk a lot !" Henry: "Its a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Henry: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Henry: "Shes a woman".
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Teacher (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you cant lay eggs!
Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria. Student: Here it is Mam! Teacher: Where? It Is Blank. Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with naked eye!
Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Tom: "HIJKLMNO"!! Teacher: What are you talking about? Tom: Yesterday you said its H to O!
Teacher: Karl, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brothers. Did u copy his? Karl: No, teacher, its the same dog!
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
Teacher: Why are you late? Sam: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Sam: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."
Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: Its good for my eyes. Teacher: If you dont eat fish? Student: Its good for the fish!
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Marry, 3 to Suzain and 2 to Katy then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didnt do? Teacher: no, of course not. Jimmy: good, because i didnt do my homework.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I dont know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.” Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "Im paying as little as I can!"
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